ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Randomize
