Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
