And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize
