that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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