it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
Randomize
