They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
Randomize
