there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
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