So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
