hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Randomize
