I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
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