in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
