I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
