i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
Randomize
