you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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