Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
my being single is dangerous.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
Dignity is for republicans.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
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