My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Randomize
