What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
Randomize
