I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
