I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
