I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
