There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
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