Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
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