How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
Randomize
