If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
