just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
NoShamevember. You game?
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize
