my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Idk if I want to put a bra on
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
