But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Randomize
