i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
her facebook's as public as her vagina
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
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