also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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