I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
