my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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