My hand turned me down
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
