Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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