he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
Randomize
