He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
You should frame my arrest warrant.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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