im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
My vagina just recognized that song.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
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