i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
