i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
