everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
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