I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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