new low.... made out with someone while peeing
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
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