My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize
