Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
My breasts were aching with rage.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Randomize
