Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
My balls are so social today.
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
I could fuck to npr.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
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