Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
