it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
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