There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Randomize
