Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
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