Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
Randomize
