at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
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