well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
That accounts for only three of the penises
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Randomize
