that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
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