your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
I feel like a drive thru vagina
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
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