I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
